Come Hither Looks and Bedroom Eyes
The Beginners Guide On How To Look Sexy
Almost every client I meet with mentions at some point that she is worried about not knowing how to make the sexy faces or what exactly “bedroom eyes” look like. This post will show you what sexy expressions look like, how to do them, and why men find them alluring.
Why Expression is Important
Good expression is one of the key elements to a great final image. Honestly you’re right to worry about not being able to make sexy faces because expression is how you will ultimately connect with the viewer of your photos.
Although expression can and does include the pose of your body, this post is going to focus on just the face so we don’t overwhelm you with too many variables.
Non Verbal Communication of The Face
Every body language book I’ve ever read revolves around the idea of clusters. There isn’t really any one cue a person can give that conveys something definitively non-verbally. It’s the cluster of these cues that signals a person’s intent non-verbally.
Communicating non verbally on command can be challenging at first, but you’ll get the idea of how it works when you start getting feed back from me real time during your session. Specifically with regards to boudoir I like to direct my clients for clusters of confidence, sexual desire, dominance and or submission.
How To Smize
We all know that confidence is sexy, but most are unaware that confidence is primarily communicated though the eyes. Tyra Banks famously coined the term “Smize” to refer to the idea of smiling with your eyes. I find this term fairly misleading though since just “smizing” can come off fierce (which isn’t a bad thing) or sometimes even bitchy when not properly paired with the rest of a facial cluster.
That said, the idea Tyra is communicating is still SUPER important to your overall all body language and connection with the viewer.
The important thing to learn from Tyra is that confidence is conveyed through the eyes. Mechanically this is achieved most simply by moving the bottom of your eyelids closer to your pupil.
Sounds impossible right? It’s really not, give it an honest try in front of the mirror. Most people do this in their every day interactions with people and they usually don’t even know it. All you need to do is train your brain to do it consciously.
When I’m first explaining how to do this to my clients I literally find a mirror and have both of us stand in front of it and practice. When you do it right it feels like you’re putting just a little bit of pressure on your eyes, like a hint of a squint WITHOUT actually squinting if that makes sense.
Practice this in front of the mirror until you can internalize what it feels like to do it on command when you can’t see yourself. I’ve yet to photograph someone who can’t do it, and most understand how to do the smize well in under 5 minutes.
Note that the smize is NOT a squint! The top of your eyelids will come down a tiny bit because of the anatomy of the orbicularis oculi muscle but the majority of the movement should come from moving your bottom eyelid up toward your pupil. Squinting by bringing the top of the eyelid down AND the bottom of the eyelid up will make you look suspicious. Don’t do this!
Moving just the bottom lid up is a hallmark cue of confidence and that you are interested and engaged. This connection with the camera will make the viewer feel like you are engaged with them and that they have your full attention.
Once mastered, this is a very powerful technique you’ll find incredibly useful in your every day interactions with people. Just make sure to use your new found powers for good and not evil when sending selfies to your special someone ;-)
Come Hither Looks
Now that we understand that confidence comes from the eyes, its important to show how approachability can manifest from the cues of the mouth. When we pair cues from your mouth with the cues of your eyes we can create a complete facial cluster. To put this into context you can nail the cue with your eyes but fail with your mouth and have cluster come across as bitchy. Not ideal…
For boudoir I’m personally not a fan of the full on smile a lot of women think they want in their final photos. The reason for this is that full toothy smiles also scrunch your skin in ways that accentuate wrinkles.
Crows feet, puffy cheeks, bags under the eyes , etc. are all accentuated with big smiles. It is for this reason most national beauty campaigns primarily use more subtle expressions.
It’s also easy to see this technique on full display at the red carpet of name your favorite awards show. Professional models and actors also understand these principals and utilize these techniques to appear more youthful in photos.
It’s important to note that mouth cues don’t have to necessarily be smiles or variants there of to create stunning boudoir photos. One of my favorite cues to direct for during a boudoir session is a slight breath in or out of the mouth. This gasp paired with the smize is one of my favorite expressions to direct for. It’s a cluster that conveys sensuality and confidence. A slight dip of the chin makes it submissive which practically short circuits a man’s lizard brain.
There’s a lot of subtlety and variation with the way the lips can be manipulated. Smiles, no smiles, gasps, lip bites and everything in between can all look great.
The trick to remember with your lips is that most great beauty expressions have the element of a relaxed jaw. A completely relaxed jaw is one where you have a 1-2 millimeter gap between your teeth. Opening wider than this or clenching your jaw needs to be done with care as things can get really over the top pretty fast if you’re not careful.
The novacane jaw technique is so good you’ll often see pro models yawn between takes to reset their jaws and keep them loose. When you’re new to this you’ll only be able to fake an expression for a few minutes before it looks… fake.
Resetting your jaw will help you re-gather your focus if you’re someone who has a tendency to clench like I do. The more comfortable you get with this, the easier it will be to execute at will and for extended durations.
Conclusion
That’s pretty much it for the basics of come hither looks and how to do bedroom eyes for your upcoming photo shoot. Basically if you master the smize and the novacane jaw, you’ll be well on your way to expressing like a pro beauty model.
If you feel like I missed something or think I need to further clarify anything, feel free to comment below and let me know what I missed, so I can help all of you get better images for your upcoming sessions!
Talk soon!
-Jason
